Lost interest in sex? 5 possible reasons why

Are you feeling concerned that you have lost interest in sex? Are you worried that there might be something wrong with you? You should know, that you are not alone. People everywhere are silently struggling with their lack of sexual desire. In fact, so many people deal with this at some time in their life many sexologists and sex researchers agree it most probably is just part of one’s journey through their sexuality over the lifetime.

Here are just 5 (of many) reasons that might be contributing to your disinterest in sexual activity.

1.     Stress.

Take a moment to examine what going on in your life. Working long hours? House full of children? Family illness? Death in the family? Job loss? Moving house?

If you are ticking any of these boxes, then know that these are all very good reasons why your body might not be feeling up to being sexual. Your body is just looking after you. You might want to think about finding some work life balance. Relaxation. Time out. Meditation.

2.     Mental health

Are you anxious? Depressed? Our mental health can impact on our biggest sex organ, which is the brain. It makes perfect sense that whilst you are trying to manage your mental wellbeing that your interest in sexuality activity might take a dive. Or completely disappear.

Whilst some folks do find that engaging sexually improves their mental health issues, many don’t. In fact, some of the medications used to treat anxiety and depression greatly impact our sexual functioning. Chat to your GP and tell them if that is the case. They might be able to give you one that alleviates the negative impacts.

3.     The contraceptive pill 

Some people who use the contraceptive pill do find that they don’t feel like sex as much as they used to (although many do, particularly those who are now able to relax and enjoy sexual activity and stop worrying they might have an unintended pregnancy).

There are many contraceptive pills available as well as other contraceptive options. You might want to chat to your GP about a new pill or re think your choices. Fertility awareness might work better for you (no hormones).

4.     Relationship issues

If you’re having other issues in your relationship this can negatively impact your desire or willingness to engage sexually with your partner. Perhaps you need to work on your communication?

You might consider attending relationship counselling to work through these issues so that you’re feeling more positive about the relationship and partner that then flows on to your feelings about sexual activity.

5.      Boredom

This is something we don’t often talk about. It can be hard to admit to the person we love that we are bored in the bedroom. It might feel like a tough conversation, one that seems overwhelming fact. Feeling this way makes sense though.

Desire is fuelled by the “unknowing” of someone, the thrill and excitement of the new adventure that can wane when we are past that new relationship period and settled into the more familiar pattern of a more stable, long term relationship.

If you are interested in exploring what might be getting in the way of you being more interested in sex, speaking to a Clinical Sexologist or psychologist might be helpful.


Naomi Hutchings

Clinical Sexologist

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