Netflix’s British drama “Adolescence” is not easy viewing. As a psychologist who has worked with adolescents and families for over 25 years, I found myself profoundly affected by this four-part series that explores the devastating consequences when a 13-year-old boy commits an act of violence against a female classmate.

What makes this series particularly unsettling is not just the crime itself, but the window it provides into the often-invisible world our adolescents navigate daily—a landscape many parents remain largely unaware of until crisis strikes.

The Digital Undercurrent

One of the most disturbing aspects of “Adolescence” is its portrayal of teen digital communication. The series highlights how adolescents communicate in coded language and symbols that fly beneath parental radar. Sexual emojis that many adults have never heard of, symbols that indicate things without words, and visual cues create an entirely separate communication system that shapes attitudes and behaviours without adult oversight.

This hidden digital ecosystem is where much of adolescent identity formation now occurs. In the series, we witness how quickly harmful ideas around sexuality, masculinity, and power can spread and become normalised through social media exchanges and group chats. What’s particularly concerning is how these digital interactions can reinforce problematic attitudes that many parents would find deeply troubling—if only they knew they existed.

The stark reality is that many young people, particularly boys, are being influenced by forces beyond parental control: toxic masculinity, sexual imagery, pornography all accessible online, and peer dynamics that normalise problematic behaviours. These influences don’t just affect how teens see themselves—they transform how they communicate with and sometimes bully others.

The Psychology of Vulnerability and Validation

The pivotal scene with the detention centre psychologist offers profound insights into Jamie’s mental state. When she tries to create a comfortable environment with a simple hot chocolate, Jamie is acutely aware of the power dynamics at play and attempts to unsettle her.

Throughout their interaction, Jamie repeatedly calls himself “ugly” and seeks validation, highlighting the profound insecurity that drives his behaviour. His question to the psychologist—essentially asking if she likes him—reveals his desperate need for approval and how this shapes his behaviour.

What makes this scene particularly powerful is watching the psychologist navigate this challenging interaction. Despite her professional training, Jamie’s explosive outburst of anger with verbal threats and intimidation and aggression including throwing a chair left her visibly shaken—demonstrating how deeply disturbing a teenager’s unexpressed pain can become, even to trained professionals. The moment after Jamie leaves, when we see the psychologist trying to regulate her own emotions, speaks volumes about the intensity of adolescent emotional turmoil.

This scene illustrates a critical insight from my clinical experience: how low self-esteem and a desperate need for validation and the impact of rejection or bullying may manifest in aggressive actions when left unaddressed. Many young men I’ve worked with carry similar insecurities, though they often manifest differently. The research supports what we see in Jamie’s character—boys who lack healthy models for emotional expression and who feel they don’t measure up to societal expectations of masculinity may turn to aggression as a way to assert control and identity.

Family Dynamics: What We See and What We Miss

Perhaps most heartbreaking is watching Jamie’s family grapple with the reality of their son’s actions. Despite being ostensibly loving parents, they miss crucial warning signs. The father, emotionally closed off and struggling with his own issues, breaks down only in the final episode when confronted with his son’s guilt with occasional glimpses of sadness that is contained.

This pattern repeats throughout the series, highlighting how even well-intentioned families can perpetuate problematic expressions of masculinity. The father’s own emotional regulation issues come to light when he violently erupts in public, suggesting intergenerational patterns of managing difficult emotions through aggression.

The powerful exchange where the parents acknowledge, “We made him,” raises profound questions about nurturing emotional development. This isn’t about placing blame, but recognising that even supportive environments can fail to protect children from harmful societal pressures.

What’s particularly notable is that Jamie specifically requests his father’s presence during the arrest, yet the father assumes the mother would be better suited for emotional support. This small but significant moment highlights how gender expectations can affect family dynamics, potentially limiting the emotional connection between fathers and sons.

Creating Connection in a Disconnected World

As a psychologist working with families, I believe the series offers several important reflections for parents:

1. Maintain open communication channels. Create regular opportunities for conversation about difficult topics that might otherwise remain hidden. This doesn’t mean interrogating your teen but creating an environment where challenging subjects can be discussed without judgement.
2. Take bullying seriously. Jamie’s actions were partly influenced by his experiences of being bullied and feeling inadequate. When teens share experiences of bullying, listen deeply and avoid minimising their feelings or experiences. Advocate for your teen by determining if this behaviour is being addressed
3. Develop digital literacy—for yourself. Parents need to understand the platforms their children use and the language of digital communication. This isn’t about surveillance but about having the knowledge to engage meaningfully with your teen’s digital experiences.
4. Model healthy emotional expression. Children learn how to process feelings by watching the adults in their lives. Demonstrating appropriate ways to express difficult emotions provides them with essential tools for their own emotional regulation.
5. Seek support when needed. Working with a psychologist or therapist can help families develop communication strategies and provide adolescents with a safe space to process their experiences and emotions.

Finding Balance in the Digital Age

The journey through adolescence has always been challenging, but today’s digital landscape has transformed these challenges in ways previous generations never experienced. By maintaining awareness, fostering open communication, and seeking appropriate support when needed, we can help guide young people through this critical developmental stage.

While social media and digital technology present significant challenges, they’re now an integral part of adolescent life. Our goal isn’t to eliminate these influences but to help teens develop the critical thinking skills and emotional resilience needed to navigate them safely.

Every one of us is prone to mental health challenges. I like to remember that we are all human and we are all capable of feeling vulnerable, fragile, worthless, anxious, rejected and abandoned even in the face of evidence of success, connectedness and strength. This is particularly true during adolescence, when identity formation is at its most intense.

The most valuable takeaway from “Adolescence” may be the reminder that prevention is always preferable to intervention after crisis. Creating home environments where emotions are acknowledged, difficult conversations are welcomed, and help-seeking is encouraged provides adolescents with the foundation they need to navigate an increasingly complex world.

If you’re concerned about your adolescent’s wellbeing or would like support in developing strategies for more effective family communication, remember that professional support is available. Creating a safe, non-judgmental space where teens can express themselves honestly is one of the most powerful protective factors we can offer.

Alexandra Frost, Clinical Psychologist

---

This blog post offers general information and reflections on mental health topics based on evidence-based approaches and professional experience. It is not intended to replace personalised professional advice. If you’re concerned about your child’s mental health, please reach out to a registered mental health professional.